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Former Christchurch Civic Childcare Centre worker
Deborah Gillespie yesterday left the High Court in theory a free woman. Privately she talks about a career and reputation
ruined by the charges that she abused children in her care. She says she faces
an uncertain and possibly threatening future. Ms Gillespie was discharged on the one charge
remaining against her after the Crown yesterday presented its final charges against
her and the four other accused workers. Mr Justice Williamson dismissed the
charge after hearing that the child who made an allegation of indecent assault
would not be available to give evidence. The Crown also reduced the number of charges the
other accused face in their trial, which will start next month. Ms Gillespie says her discharge .has left her with
mixed emotions - pleased about the decision but conscious of the continuing
ordeal for her former co-workers and of the long fight ahead to clear her
name. "I feel incredibly angry the charges got this
far," she said. "I need to be seen not to have done any of these
things." Ms Gillespie, aged 30. started at the crèche in
February 1988 after teaching at She was highly regarded for her musical and drama abilities. She accepts her much-loved career in childcare is
dead, and that future work with children could now be misinterpreted. "You're always going to be watched, and I
could not make myself that vulnerable," she said. "My life has been ripped out from underneath
me, and no-one in their right mind would employ me and put their business or school
at risk." Ms Gillespie said she had been living life one day
at a time since being arrested last October, and had not spent too much time thinking
about her prospects. Leaving town had been suggested to her, but she
says if she is to effectively fight what has happened to her she will need to
stay in "When I get my energy back I'm going to get
angry. Then I will say somebody has got to pay for this." Ms Gillespie's day-to-day life has been turned on
its head by the charges. She could not find a flatmate and has had to rent
out her house to pay the mortgage. She felt vulnerable living on her own and now lives
with a family. She does not go out much by herself because "there are
people out there who hate my guts and want me dead". She remembers two particularly dark moments. One
was when she sat in a cell for three hours by herself after her arrest wondering
what was happening to her co-workers. "The other was when I was standing in the
courtroom on the day of the arrest in an old tracksuit from which they had taken
the cord. I felt like I was standing at the barbed-wire fence of a
concentration camp, wide-eyed and terrified." The exposure of her personal life had been like
"taking off your clothes and walking through The support of co-workers, friends, and family had
helped her cope. She says she derived strength during the depositions hearings
from her innocence. "I thought I have got nothing to hide. I'm
innocent. All I can do is tell the truth." |
