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The Dominion Post
December 2 2006

The world according to Haden
by Mike Crean

Veteran journalist Frank Haden has had plenty of hobbyhorses to ride in his pursuit of common sense. By Mike Crean.

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Frank Haden would love to write one last column. It would be about the need for the world to face up to its problems honestly.

It would be about Earth rushing headlong toward total depletion of energy resources, while people allow official "bullshit" to deflect them from the obvious answer of nuclear power.

But the veteran journalist will not write the column. Haden, whose writing is well known to readers of The Dominion Post and other New Zealand newspapers, is in hospice care, at his Wellington home, with terminal cancer.

"Everything has gone. My computer has gone to my daughter. I can't write," he says.

"I would love to be able to write that column. I am distressed because I can't write it." Known widely as a hard-headed journalist of the "old school", Haden worked on, and edited, newspapers for half a century. He was proud to bring the realities of world affairs to ordinary New Zealanders. Now he gazes at his collection of dictionaries, all prized possessions, and he sighs.

"My whole world came crashing in on me when I discovered the spread of cancer."

Haden began his career on The Press. Born in 1929 and raised in Christchurch, he attended St Bede's College. But, as the eldest of six children, his school years were shattered by the sudden death of his father.

His father had come to New Zealand and set up an agency for selling motorcycles. The business collapsed in the Depression and his father had to rely on what work he could get as an accounts clerk. His father's death, and the inadequate benefit his mother received, left Haden to support the family with labouring jobs in freezing works and a brickyard, while continuing at school.

He studied law at Canterbury University and got work as a law clerk at (PndStlg)12 a week.

However, he quickly came to loathe the dust and smell of law files. One day he walked into The Press office and asked the editor for a job. He was hired at (PndStlg)3 a week.

He loved the whole atmosphere of newspapers.

Over the next 50 years he would report on events in New Zealand and around the world, work his way up to editor of the Sunday Times and assistant editor of The Dominion, mentor young reporters, fulminate on many subjects as a columnist and become a commentator on the use and abuse of English in The Dominion Post.

As an editor, he made decisions which were seen at the time as outrageous. Publication of nude photographs reflected a sincere commitment to showing things as they really were, he insisted. He had no truck with sheer prurience.

His espousal of old-fashioned, common- sense values and his rejection of politically correct and namby-pamby trends endeared him to many -- and set him against many.

He never hesitated to take a stand, whether it be to support Lesley Martin over the voluntary euthanasia of her mother, or to condemn the conviction of Peter Ellis on child abuse charges.

Haden can get fired up, never more so than when hearing people criticise journalism and the media for presenting "bad news".

He believes passionately in the media's mission to reveal to the public what is going on. He sees the ability of an informed populace to respond to reality as essential for the survival of democracy.

HE IS proud of having put his life on the line, often, in pursuit of good stories that would tell New Zealanders about aspects of affairs which officials tried to keep hidden. He suffered bouts of illness and subjected himself to physical danger to see sides of Vietnam, Bosnia, East Berlin (before the wall came down), South Africa (before apartheid was dismantled) which most people never knew about.

Symbols of his pride rest in a drawer -- a chunk of concrete he hacked from the Berlin Wall, a bit of rusty barbed wire he clipped from the so-called Iron Curtain, in Hungary.

Haden believes Western propagandists fuelled mass paranoia by painting the Russians as bogymen during the Cold War.

He found the reality quite different.

He debunked claims that handing political power to South Africa's Blacks would cause a bloodbath, after extensive touring in that country.

"I have debunked quite a lot of things," Haden says.

He is a sceptic. He has defied rules, orders and conventions to get into places others would not go to. Once there, he has found things not as bad as portrayed in official communications.

"Just looking honest, and what the Americans call 'a regular guy', has got me out of a lot of scraps," he says.

If one thing infuriates him, it is "bullshit".

"I have spent my life battling bullshit. There's a lot of it about -- a whole bullshit industry. But there is still a great deal of good, honest journalism practised, too," he says.

Next to his wife and four daughters, Haden's greatest love is words.

"I worship words," he says.

His column on language, in which he tackles derivations, meanings and usage of words, has been widely read. It has brought him both renown and notoriety, as he has imbued it with his "black-and-white" quality.

The column, which ran in The Dominon Post till last month, sparked a huge volume of correspondence.

Haden has enjoyed the vehemence of people's responses, even those with "a bee in their bonnet", because he knows they, too, take the language seriously.

He has ridden a few hobbyhorses. One was the insistence that children in school are pupils, not students. Students are at university, he declares.

"That got people quite exercised."

The need for nuclear power generation is another hobbyhorse -- "I ride it at every opportunity".

However long Haden lives, however much he mellows, he will never step down from his hobbyhorses.

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The world according to Haden

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On education: I'd never have made a teacher. I'd have strangled the bastards.

On women: All women named Renee are dominatrices. I've been a bum man from way back.

On race: Austrians are just flaky Germans. All Hungarians are doctors. I dislike intensely having to soil my hands with distinctions between one race and another because I am one of the few people I know who is genuinely not racist.

On foreign affairs: Those Taiwanese should abolish those typhoons they have over there. It's just ridiculous . . . that's the third one in three weeks, it's just gross carelessness.

On language: Well, the f . . . . dictionary is wrong. If I had to use spellcheck I'd commit suicide. The word diseased looks diseased -- it's all spotty and horrible.

On journalism: I'm paid to do just one thing -- know what the public wants to read. Put the Aids story on page one -- anything to do with cocks is news. No reporter has ever quoted anybody accurately yet. Ever.

On management: The reason nothing's been done is because they're all too busy attending total quality management courses and when the time comes to actually do some managing they all f . . . up.

On small town New Zealand: That's where most lunatics come from -- small towns like Waipukurau.

On life: I'm the most assiduous flogger of dead horses there is. I have always worked on the prinicple that if you flog it hard enough for long enough, it will eventually come back to life, or at least thrash about a bit.

* Source: The Uncensored Thoughts of Chairman Frank (an unofficial booklet of Haden's choice quotes while a journalist at The Dominion).

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