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Allegations of abuse
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Home / police allegations / Rickards,
Shipton, Schollum vs Jane Doe Page 5 - Further Reaction to Not
Guilty Verdict |
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Louise Nicholas says that despite everything,
she does not hate the three men she accuses of raping and sexually assaulting
her 21 years ago. "Hate
is a strong word, a useless word." The petite 39-year-old says she does
not feel pity for them, either. "If I think about how I feel about them,
I'm putting them back in my head, and I don't want to do that." Nicholas says she was naturally
disappointed with last week's verdict. On Thursday, a jury in the High Court
at "Why would I lie about this,
why would I make this stuff up?" Nicholas spoke to the Herald on Sunday
in response to claims by Rickards and family members of Shipton and Schollum
that she was a trained liar - and her allegations were a work of fiction. She says she is absolutely
convinced more women will surface to support her claims. Until now, Nicholas has been
prevented by court order from speaking freely about last year's case, but
last week, she revealed the personal toll of the trial, her feelings towards
the accused, how her teenage years were "destroyed" and her
relationship with the other complainant who claimed the three accused men
indecently assaulted her with a bottle. Nicholas - whose allegations led
to wide-ranging inquiries into the police - also wanted to set the record
straight on claims she had been a "police groupie" and a willing
participant in group sex. She also revealed for the first
time her shock at being told in 2004, when she first went public with her
allegations, that Rickards had risen to become one of the country's top
police officers. "When I was told, I said,
'Hell, really?' I had no idea." With no legal possibility of a
civil court claim, Nicholas says her focus for the time being is on changing
the culture within the police and ensuring a better deal for rape victims. "There is no blame on any
particular person here. It is just our system. Changes need to be made. Until
those changes are made, I will keep fighting. "If I can help in any way to
right the wrongs of the past, I'll do it. "I want to be able to help
other victims - actually no, they're not victims; they're survivors." Nicholas says last week's verdict
is further evidence of how tough it is to get a rape conviction in "I felt for her, as I knew
exactly what she was going through. I thought I may have heard more from her,
but she has chosen to handle this in her own way, and I respect her for
that." Nicholas believes there was too
much focus on the complainant's recollection of peripheral issues, a ploy
designed to destroy her credibility, and a technique the defence also used in
her trial. She says she could recall in
graphic detail what had happened on the days the sexual offending allegedly
took place, but "I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch that
day". "You always remember the
traumatic events. They never leave me. "It's the small stuff they
try and trip you up on." Nicholas says in her case she had
never wanted the matter to go to trial, as she knew "it would end up
being swept under the carpet". Her reason for speaking out had been to
prompt an inquiry into police conduct. That being the case, though, she
also wants to make it clear that she had complained to police at the time she
was allegedly raped, but was ignored. "To suggest I waited 10 years, or
whatever it was, to raise these issues is nonsense," she says. "It's just that no one wanted
to listen to me. People had made all sorts of
judgments about her, says Nicholas, but she knows the truth - and what
happened in Rotorua in the mid-1980s. "I've been called a liar, a
maggot-lying bitch. These people don't know me. I am disgusted at these types
of comments. I just wish these people had the balls to say this sort of stuff
to my face." Under no circumstances had the sex
with Rickards, Shipton and Schollum been consensual, she stresses. "It was never, ever
consensual. At the time, I was going out with my husband. I say again, why
would I make this up? I have no reason to make it up, no reason to put myself
through all this." The suggestion she was some sort
of "police groupie" was absolutely ridiculous, she says. Nicholas told the Herald on Sunday
that for years she had put up with the nightmares - but she now refuses to
allow her life to be ruled by what she claimed had happened more than 20
years ago. "I used to shudder when I saw
a police car. But I basically retrained myself not to do that any more. It
was like I was letting them back in again - and I refuse to allow that to
happen. I decided I had had enough of looking at cop cars sideways. "It had to stop." However, she still holds regrets
about her lost teenage years. Instead of dating and hanging out with
girlfriends, she says, she was trying to cope mentally and emotionally with
the worst imaginable kind of violation. And that, she says, was tough. "I feel I missed out on my
teenage years. I know that. I suppose that's why I tell my own daughters to
live and enjoy their childhood, and have fun," she says. "But there's a part of me
that wants to keep them wrapped up in cotton wool because I fear bad things
are going to happen to them." Throughout the ordeal, her husband
Ross was by her side - as he was 21 years ago when she claimed she was first
raped by Rickards, Shipton and Schollum. It was tough on him, but their
marriage is strong, she says. The couple is expecting a baby in May. Nicholas says that while she is
committed to moving on with her life, she can't erase the memory of what
happened to her more than two decades ago. "It will never be over for
me. I can't bury it. You can never bury it." |
