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Allegations of Sexual
Abuse |
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Wide-ranging changes are needed to
public and professional attitudes to rape if the problems confronted by
sexual abuse victims are to be countered, writes Kim McGregor. Unless we all understand some of
the complexities and dynamics of sexual abuse and some of the reasons
survivors do not report sexual assault, we are unlikely to have much of a
chance of changing this situation. Over the last 20 years I have
worked with hundreds of women, men, teenagers and child survivors of sexual
abuse. Most of these survivors have only told a therapist and sometimes a
partner about the abuse they experienced. International and national
research suggests that approximately 20-30 per cent of women and 10-15 per
cent of men are likely to experience some sort of sexual violence in their
lifetimes, but only about 5-15 per cent of the children and adults who
experience sexual violation are likely to report the abuse to the police or a
child protection social worker. Grooming, shame, self-blame,
entrapment and having to accommodate escalating abuse are some of the
hallmarks of sexual violence. Sexual offending is a premeditated
crime. Most sex offenders carefully select the person they wish to abuse.
They target the most vulnerable. For this reason, the young, the
elderly, the cognitively and physically disabled, those with low-self esteem,
and those of small build (such as young females) are particularly at risk. Often an offender will spend a
good deal of time grooming their victim (whether the victim is inside or
outside of their family) before they abuse. The grooming process is likely to
involve identifying and gaining the potential victim's trust and then getting
them alone. Gaining access to a victim can be
achieved in a range of ways, including having a few drinks in a bar and
chatting for a couple of hours before offering a "friendly ride
home" or treating one child in the family as special and then offering
to take them out. Often the person being sexually
abused feels trapped, confused and blames herself or himself for getting into
the abusive situation. Most survivors remain silent about the violation they
experience for a number of reasons including the way that sex offenders
carefully groom and entrap their victims. Most victims know the offender
(only 5-10 per cent of offenders are likely to be strangers) and so, unlike a
stranger-attack, the victim is unlikely to yell, scream and fight the
offender off. If the victim was unable to
complain about the abuse the first time (because of self-blame, confusion,
shame, loyalty or fear) she or he can sometimes feel complicit (especially if
the abuse is ongoing) and think that no-one will believe them if they speak
out about it. Most survivors do not report the
offender to the police for a range of reasons, including they do not want him
(or her) to go to jail, be humiliated or harmed. Many victims care for offenders
because they are within their circle of family, friends or acquaintances.
Victims mostly just want the behaviour to stop but they do not want to lose
the relationship or the network of friends or family that connect them and
the offender. Victims of date rape often do not
report, especially if they have been drinking. Threats and fears of the
consequences of telling are other reasons for not reporting abuse. In my doctoral study of 191 women
who experienced sexual abuse as children, only 4 per cent told about the
abuse at the time. This group of women took 16 years on average before they
told anyone about the abuse. One woman took 56 years before she told anyone.
These figures suggest that the opposite of the old rape myth (that it is easy
to cry rape) is true. Unfortunately most survivors of
sexual abuse are accurate about their pessimistic anticipation of the
responses to their disclosures of abuse. Often their disclosures are met with
disbelief or scepticism. Some research has suggested that
the closer the relationship to the offender the less likely the victim is to
report the offence and the less likely they are to be believed. When police, juries and the public
hear that the victim did not fight, scream or run away from the offender
immediately, often their sympathy disappears and they believe that the victim
consented and then cried rape. While survivors of sexual assault
mostly feel too shamed about the abuse they experienced to talk about it –
and the community is unaware of the powerful processes of grooming,
entrapment, and silencing that operates on victims of sexual abuse – there
seems little chance of a more complex public understanding of the challenges
for victims of sexual violence. Those selected for juries and
those who chose to enter the police force come from the general community.
Any hint of disbelief, scepticism, or the thought of having to face an
adversarial process is likely to silence survivors of abuse. While survivors remain silent
offenders can continue to walk free and continue to abuse. To have any hope of reducing the
very high rates of sexual offending we have to improve our responses to and
processes for dealing with sexual violence. In order to reduce the incidence
and impact of sexual offending we need to educate the public about the way
sex offenders operate, make it easier and safer for sex offenders to seek
support to stop their offending, teach all our children and caregivers about
sex offending behaviours, train all teachers, health professionals, community
workers and the general public how to respond sensitively to disclosures of
sexual abuse, make sure that specialist sexual assault support services are
well funded and resourced, and provide investigative and judicial processes
that are sensitive to the needs of survivors of rape and sexual abuse. Dr Kim McGregor is the director of
Rape Prevention Education.
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