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The Press
May 30, 2003
Now I can say to him 'rest in peace, bro'
by David Courtney
A
promise made at a
Dave (not his real name) swore he would get justice for the big brother who
protected him when they were abused as children at the St John of God order's
His brother died in 2000, aged 41. Dave believes it was the torment of living
with the sexual abuse they suffered that drove him to an early grave.
"When he died I promised somehow I was going to get resolution for
him," Dave says.
Yesterday, he partly fulfilled that promise when he stood, head bowed, with
four others alongside the white cross marking his brother's grave in the
Reading the Lord's Prayer was Brother Peter Burke, the Australasian head of the
St John of God order whose members are accused of sexually abusing about 70
complainants, including Dave and his brother.
At the end of the brief service, four of the men walked away, leaving Dave with
his brother's grave and his thoughts.
While he cried gently, the other men gathered for a powerful act of
forgiveness. Peter, another of the abused children, gave Brother Burke a bone
carving he commissioned himself.
The necklace, Peter said, is about expressing the love and respect that the
victims he knows (including him) from the school have for Brother Burke as he
deals with the terrible wrongs done by his order.
The gift left Brother Burke grasping for words.
"I've gone on record saying this (the actions of the former brothers) has
shattered my faith in human kind. This (the necklace) does help restore some of
that faith in people ... it's something I'll treasure," he said.
Then he had to go, he had a flight to
"Look at him, he (Brother Burke) just looks so alone ... he's having to go
through this alone. He is going through hell on Earth, and the carving is about
aroha ... about our respect for him for doing this," Peter said.
"It's like he is left to deal with the horrible wrongs of his
family."
At his brother's graveside, Dave spoke quickly, nervously, his thoughts and
words all rolling into one.
"I'm sorry, I know I'm talking too much ... I didn't get much sleep last
night.
"At the moment I just feel empty. The only way everything can be all right
is if we could bring him back," Dave said.
He and his brother were abandoned as children in the 1960s and put in the care
of the St John of God order at
They were left with only each other from the age of three and four and a half
respectively.
"Even the nuns used to torment and abuse us. He (his brother) was my
protector, I looked up to him and he would console me when it (the abuse)
happened."
The sexual abuse started when he was seven, he said. Most of the children went
home from
Instead, they were left prey to sexual abuse, he said.
They were not alone. Police have received complaints from 75 former residents
who have accused 14 brothers and a nightwatchman of abuse over several decades
from the late 1950s.
The St John of God Order has offered $4 million to 56 of the complainants in
payouts ranging from about $30,000 to $100,000.
Last week a former brother at
Dave's brother's name is listed on the records of those who suffered abuse.
"The abuse completely wrecked him. He had all kinds of rubbish in his
head, he internalised it and suppressed it with drugs.
"He (his brother) was such a big fella, he got in trouble, but he had a
damn good heart. He was like a broken child trapped in a big man's body,"
Dave said.
At first, Dave didn't really do much better in facing his past. He fought his
own personal battles with drugs and, in particular, booze.
In the end, facing the abuse didn't kill him like it did his brother, he said.
Now he is seeking some kind of closure for the abuse so many suffered.
"People still don't believe what we went through. Parts of the Catholic
Church are still in denial about what happened."
Dave knows the fight will continue and he and his fellow victims are ready for
the public trial of one of their alleged abusers.
"This has helped. I wanted Peter (Brother Burke) to do this and he is a
man of integrity and did it. Now I can say to him (his brother) `rest in peace,
bro'."
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CAPTION:
PHOTO: DAVID ALEXANDER Seeking justice: St John of God's Brother Peter Burke,
second from right, reads the Lord's Prayer during a graveside gathering in